OK, so you and I are hanging in Vegas, and suddenly you hear murmured whispers : "Look, there's........" We gawk in the direction of the pointed fingers. We haven't a clue of who it is, or if it is even SOMEBODY given the royal title of "celebrity". Sure, celebrities walk amongst us common folk, but they don't party with us or like we do. You aren't going to see the celebs playing penny machines. You won't even see them playing the slot machines. They walk amongst us, but they are not of our kind. They have been anointed as celebrities by the media. Maybe they acted in a film. Big deal, we all act in real life, we just don't get paid for it. Maybe they are famous for basically being a media darling...the ones with the glorious blonde hair extensions, the blindingly white teeth, the surgical makeovers, you know..the people we read about every day who live to party in Las Vegas.
We've seen all the pics of the celebs posing and posturing in Las Vegas. Maybe you were in the same place at the same time but didn't realize you were amongst the celebrities. It happens. I was sitting in Paris a few years back, when a big part of the male cast of the Soprano's walked by me. I saw them but it didn't register. They all looked like uncles at my family reunion. They didn't LOOK special. They looked like ordinary people.
The same trip I was in the lobby of Paris with a security guard. (Long story, someone got into my room). It was during Sho West and there were celebs all over the place, so I heard. The security guard told me that Michael Douglas was in the lobby. I looked around, saw maybe three men, and none of them looked like Michael Douglas to me. He told me he couldn't say which one was Mr. Douglas, but trust me, I never could ID him. Maybe I was just too upset or maybe makeup and camera lighting does wonders.
Celebs don't always look the same in person. So here's my tips on how to find and ID celebs on your next trip to Las Vegas.
Location, Location, Location! Its true in real estate, its true in Vegas. You won't find celebs in the Excalibur or the Riviera. You might find celebs at the Bellagio, Wynn's, the Venetian complex, the Palms or the Hard Rock. If there is a big whoop de do at a hotel, like a huge concert at the MGM, you might see one or not. If there is a club opening, you'll find celebs. You may not have heard of any of them, but they'll be there to get their picture taken. The red carpet with the back drop and paparazzi will tip you off.
Check out the latest hot spot restaurants that you and I can't afford, nor would we eat the food they serve. You know, the ones with like 12 tables and a chef whose name we can't pronounce. Regular people don't want to spend $200 bucks on a dinner of exotic things they've never heard of...we'd rather hit a buffet and pick stuff we can readily ID. But if you hang around the area, you might see one or two slipping in.
Here's how to spot a celeb: If you see a very anorexic thin blonde with hair extensions, a tiny club dress, expensive stiletto heels and a purse the size of a sofa cushion, you may have seen a celebrity. If she's being "handled" by a very large man who looks like a former pro football player gone to seed and he's telling people to make way, you've spotted a celebrity. Expect to spend hours saying "Who the hell was that?" Even when you find out, you still won't have a clue who she is. You'll just want to feed her.
If you see a man who has blindingly white teeth, a six pack, has tousled uncombed with a three day stubble, is surrounded by a bunch of guys saying "We love you, man", he's either a young celeb partying or he's a groom at his bachelor party. Could go either way. All the young male celebs look the same. If he's wearing expensive clothes, he might be a celeb. If he's wearing shorts and a tee shirt with a ball cap, he's one of us.
If you are in Caesar's Forum Shops and you see a thin man in spandex pants with dyed hair and full face makeup, you are probably seeing a rock star. He may or may not have tattoos. If he has scarves trailing, you've just spotted Stephen Tyler. If he has a British accent, you may have hit the celeb mother lode. If he is accompanied by an aging plastic Barbie doll with a plunging neckline and huge lip glossed lips, he's a rock star and that's his wife.
If you see a young girl shopping for a purse in Hermes that costs 17 grand and she actually
buys it, she's either a new young celeb, or a daughter of a rock star. If you go home and brush up on your reality shows, you'll find out who you saw. Getting your ass kissed in these stores by sales clerks means nothing. The clerks don't know if you just hit a jackpot or if you are SOMEBODY until they see the cash or the name on the credit card. They won't tell you, their
commission is at stake. Cha Ching! Privacy rules. If its a celeb who doesn't buy and she was a total bitch to the sales clerk, they'll drop her name as soon as she leaves the store.
If you are hanging at the Palms and you see an old guy in the Playboy club in his PJ's wearing an ascot and surrounded by big breasted blondes, don't assume its Hugh Hefner. It just might be an old rich guy who wandered out of his room and forgot how to get back. If its Hef, you'll know by his entourage.
If you are still hanging at the Palms, and you see some really really tall men, they are probably basketball players, current or former. I've seen a lot there of tall men there, never could figure out who they were.
If you are at the Luxor, you might see Criss Angel. He lives in the Luxor and performs there. He is a different celeb, he actually walks through the casino. Don't expect to party with him or hang with him, just be satisfied with a glimpse as he passes by.
If you see a very tall well dressed woman who struts, sashays and poses , you've either spotted a super model or a man in drag. Check the hands and feet, check for an adams apple. If you still can't tell, back off, you've had too much to drink and could be making a huge mistake! ;)